Fall to falter...

There's just something terribly wrong with the way I'm leading my life.
I'm not managing people, my finances, my time, my decisions and my pursuits properly.
I have no direction, no strategy, no confidence, no resolve, no purpose, no self-content..

It feels like i'm leading my life for someone else, in servitude.

I whine, I fret, I sigh, I frown, I curse, I swear, I snap, I break, I fall...I tried embracing myself, and then I slump into this pang of misery with or without reason, and then the whole self-deprecating and tormenting cycle repeats in itself.

There's a sense of insecurity creeping deep inside me all the time. There's someone I'm afraid to face up to if i don't meet his expectations. He, is who I see in the mirror everyday...the man swollen with pride and confidence one day, and faltered and crestfallen the next day.


It's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence.


When will this fire stop burning?

~