Saturday, January 27, 2007

Life's only true opponent...

This particular chapter from Yann Martel's award-winning book Life of Pi beautifully and aptly describes how the protagonist Pi got stranded on a half-sunken tarpaulin with a Bengal tiger, and was faced with life's only true opponent.

"I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well i know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. You anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already you lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. You muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007

It's the first day of 07 and i'm still not decided on my new yr resolution.

But in view of the numerous commitments i have this yr, i tink i'm just gonna settle on something really basic yet hard to achieve, and that's to be ultra-focused in my academic and extracurricular pursuits...My previous term grades have shed some light on my ability to go slightly beyond mediocrity if I can just concentrate and put in a little more of my heart and soul in those bloody quizzes and projects.

The first half of 2006 was a complete disaster. There're many episodes and events that have already been flushed out of my mind and never to be brought up ever again, hopefully, and many important lessons learnt too.

Some of the things i hope to achieve this yr:

- Fly to the states to attend mic's masters commencement and go on a road trip.
- Land myself a decent internship.
- Spend more time working those flabs off.
- Learn my jap well...
- Spend more time at home with Mom&Pop.
- Sleep more.
- Lead a bloody simple life.

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