Midweek Break!

I can't tell you how badly I needed this mid-week break.

Tomorrow is Vesak Day and I don't have to report to office thankfully and it's one day off SMU Squash Fever 2007.

It's amazing how time flies when you get down to serious money-paying work. It's only my 3rd day at UBS and already my very nice manager has walked me through quite a few of the bank reconciliation systems, and pre-empted me of my arduous tasks ahead. I am working at UBS Investment Banking Division - Operations Control and Reconciliations unit and report to 2 ladies, both senior analysts who interviewed me for the job the other day. One of them is still on leave and the other has spared me from helping her out because the manager, who's their common supervisor, bypassed the both of them and task some hard-core tasks to me already. And i'm sitting right beside him cos most banks' back offices have open-concept floor space. The entire ops control & rec team is quite small and all of them are nice people and no power distance at all. And also, there're many many char bor of all ages sitting around me. Even the directors are female.

I think maybe cos summer term just ended, and i'm running up and down SP evening for Squash Fever 07, so I'm usually quite shagged out in office and appear very stony and listless. Hope it's not gonna affect my bosses' impression of me man. Staring at excel and supercheem pivot tables and understanding what all the abbrevs and codes mean is really painful. Am only doing flowcharts so far while still trying to find out what exactly is the work that i'm supposed to do. I would say it's almost pure accounting work, and maybe some programming in time to come. I wish I were more knowledgeable with IT applications and programming languages.

Good thing there're people like Julia and weiwen and some other SMU UBS-interns in the area to lunch out together. My team people are also nice lunch kakis, cos they're mostly contract stuff and they talk about anything under the sun in a comfortable english-mix-chinese lingo.

~

And moving onto Squash Fever 07, it really isn't an ez task organizing open tournaments, but it sure is very satisfying and fulfilling when players come up to you and tell you they appreciate the initiative. And what's more there's really some competition among the squash players out there judging from the matches i've umpired so far. Damn thrilling!

I am extremely extremely extremely grateful to my team of competent and committed bunch of fella smu squashies, michelle and our gd fren-cum-coach Maoyuan. Although the event is not over, I still wanna acknowledge all the hard work that everyone's put in. Let's hope we have more fun overseeing the semis and finals. I got no voice liao...thx to umpiring more than 20 matches in the past 3 days. Relli thankful tmr's vesak day. *phew*

~

And i must say my HK trip was a blessing to my summer FIIM module. Got back result liao, not too bad. Haha. Next time I must go on a trip before every single final paper, then like that can score well.

Good news motivate me to a greater deal. Hope there're more good news to come soon!

~

And there I conclude there was little impact that my short HK trip had on my FIIM exam, cos I didn't really feel I haven't had enough time to study for the final paper. But perhaps it's becos i've successfully departmentalize my brain...to be able to switch mode according to situations...while i was in HK, I took my mind off the exam revisions...and when i came back, i wasn't really thinking much about the holiday itself. It's good to be able to departmentalize your mind.

And so it's the only weekend before the start of my 11-week long internship. Spent the whole of saturday preparing for SMU Squash Fever with the squash gers (well done everyone!) and then went to catch Pirates 3 in the evening with evan. Maybe because I was a little tired, or perhaps the plot was really too draggy...tt's y didn't find it as fascinating as pirates 1 or 2. Let's hope Shrek 3 won't disappoint me.

And then watched The Road to Guantanamo and The Motorcycle Diaries on my comp without realizing both shows have got something to do with Cuba.

The Road to Guantanamo is a true account of 3 innocent British Muslims arrested by US Marines while on a trip to Afghanistan in the days following Sept 11. And then they were deported to the infamous Guantanamo Bay Detainee camp in Cuba where they were tortured and interrogated by US Secret Service about the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden. Guantanamo is really more of a documentary addressing the issues of humanity behind the US Military's treatment towards P.O.Ws....

I have more things to say about The Motorcycle Diaries. I like the show very much. It speaks of all-time famous Cuban Revolutionary Ernesto Che Guevara's Latin American road-trip with his good friend up North from Argentina, where he gets to witness the harsh realities of life in countries like Peru and Chile.

(Most ah-bengs wear t-shirts with Che Guevara's picture on them without knowing who he is.)

Again, it's a show about human connections and delivers the message of freedom, aspirations, youth and compassion. There're scenes where Fuser (Guevara's other name) went to help out some Peruvian leprosy patients on an island and this reminded me of my Cambodia trip last December. People go the distance to learn about cultures, to make friends and to deliver human compassion. It's perhaps something that I can strongly identify with.

Another reason why I like The Motorcycle Diaries because it highlights the surprise element of road-trips, road trips without a purpose. Along the way, you meet diff pple, you chance upon moments of passion, you experience different cultures and lifestyles, you get involved in tough and tricky situations and then you go about solving problems on your own, all in the spirit of adventure. It simply allows you to take your mind off the routine and highly-predictable nature of your daily lives.

And then I conclude I really enjoy watching foreign films (motorcycle diaries is a latin show) with travel/adventure themes, especially those based on true accounts. They motivate you to lead your own life as what you truly want it to be, and make you wanna disappear from where you are and what you're doing and constantly experiencing new purposeful lives.

Let's not enslave ourselves to anyone or anything. Let's just pursue and lead the meaningful lives we have always dreamed of. And only then will they not be dreamscapes, but reality. Let's just quit restraining ourselves.

Shall end with a quote (translated) from The Motorcycle Diaries:

"This is not a tale of impressive deeds. This is a piece of two lives taken in a moment when they were cruising together along a given path, with identity of aspirations and a conjunction of dreams. Was our vision too narrow, too partial, too rushed? Were our conclusions too rigid? Maybe...but that aimless roaming through our enormous America has changed me more than I thought. I...am not myself anymore. At least, I'm not the same inside."

~

Summer in HK

Well it wasn't the bright sunny summer that anyone would imagine...it was rain, rain and more rain. I just touched down this afternoon and already feeling damn shacked out from the effects of terrible weather, heavy alcohol and endless walking and dodging of poking umbrellas.

And here're some parts of my short 3-day trip with joshua, serene wong and serene tan, and accompanied by our tourguides kachun and josephine...

And this is my hotel...Harbour Plaza Metropolis that is located right beside Hung Hom KCR railway station and the HK Coliseum (紅館), where I watched Sammi's concert. Was quite unhappy with the location at first but because of the extremely convenient and f.o.c hotel shuttle service and the airport express service buses, everywhere in Kowloon seems like 5 mins away from harbor plaza metro.

Serene Tan got us the room at IBM corporate. It only cost me about SGD 200 plus for 3 nights. I'd recommend this hotel for those who wanna watch shows at the HK Coliseum. The hotel's too far to travel from town by foot. So if you're the walk-back-to-hotel kind of person, I suggest you find some other place in Tsim Sha Tsui.

(Left: view from outside the coliseum ; right: view from my room)

~

And above are some random pics taken at Whampoa Garden (黃埔花園）near our hotel where we had our first meal at Maxim Eatery (美心). This place has nothing, so please don't go.

~

Cakes from the Harbor Plaza Metropolis patio....

~

Upon arrival on Friday afternoon, we went straight to Tsim Sha Tsui (尖沙咀）and walked down the whole stretch of Nathan Road (彌敦道）until Mongkok (旺角), and then it started to pour. So we were stuck at Langham Place (朗豪坊）which is like one huge landmark in mongkok where shoppers take a super long escalator up all the way to the top before walking down a shopping spiral filled with gift shops, collectible shops and weird kinda shops like the one above. It sells some limited edition bra or something. Ladies, go check out.

~

But the rain was a blessing somehow, cos i've never taken such nice pictures of the HK skylines on my previous 3 visits to HK!

Taken from Tsim Sha Tsui ferry point


International Financial Centre standing tall...josephine said the middle floors are always lighted up 24/7 and they belong to an all-too-familiar company - UBS AG (my internship firm)


(click to view full panorama)

And then we headed off up the peak to catch the breathtaking view of Victoria's Harbor before cabbing to Lan Kwai Fong （蘭桂坊）for drinks! That place is full of Ang Mohs and SarongPartyGals!

(click to view full panorama)


~

And the next morning, Josh & I kind of got a slight hangover. But nothing's gonna stop us from whacking dim sum, so we went to the 21st floor of One Peking Road for brunch at a restaurant that kachun recommended. It's called 潮樓. It serves porridge in the watery form, so it's easy to tell it's a teochew dimsum place.

(left: spicy carrot cake ; right: sweet water chestnut cake...yumz!)

~

And this is something new that most of the locals like Kachun himself have never tried before - Ngong Ping (昂平） 360 cable car ride at Lantau Island. It cost 88 HKD per person. And yes, you can judge from the color of the skies in the pics below...we saw nothing but clouds of white and more white while hanging in mid air in the cable car. And when we reach the top, we couldn't go walk around to see the big buddha cos it just kept raining.

But there's always the wet weather programme....that's to find more things to EAT! Woots!
This dessert chain is called Honeymoon Desserts (西貢滿記甜品）. And there's an outlet near the cable car station at the top of the mountain.

~

Every Sunday is Maids' Liberation Day in HK, very much like what we see in Singapore. And our weather girl Josephine already forewarned us it's gonna RAIN AGAIN! So these hordes of Filipino maids who usually gathered for picnics at the lawn outside Central Station (中環）, camped at the ground floor of the HSBC Building instead. The picnics go on as usual anytime, anywhere, any weather. I saw a few groups of them camping under the staircase of overhead bridges in Causeway Bay (銅鑼灣）. What a sight!

And then after that we made our way down to Yung Kee (鏞記) restaurant which Serene Tan had placed a reservation earlier in Singapore. Yung Kee's supposed to be Asia-Pac renowned for stuff like roasted goose etc. And this was also the place which completely disgusted the hell out of all of us. Apparently, we tried to get one of the waitresses to take a picture for us, and she accidentally smashed Joshua's camera onto the floor. The zooming lens cracked and we demanded compensation. But the darn manager refused to honor any form of compensation and wanted us to just leave him an address. We had quite a row over there, and then we chanced upon the HK Tourism Board branch office at Tsim Sha Tsui ferry terminal and lodged a complaint subsequently. The HKTB officer told us Yung Kee was amongst the top of their "Quality Service" awardees' list, and we were like wtf! But luckily josh has insurance for the broken cam, if not relli very 哀怨.

And here's the plate of goose that turned cold and the extent of the camera's damage.

So all of us actually got so pissed we didn't feel hungry, so we didn't eat much at Yung Kee. Subsequently, as we went to walk Soho, and then to Causeway Bay, we started snacking around and here's what we had at a Portuguese-style 茶餐廳 - 豬扒包& 葡京蛋塔.

~

You don't see this in Singapore, do you?

"Star" Ferry Pier in the day

And we wrapped up Sunday with Sammi Cheng "Show Mi" 2007 concert at the Hung Hom HK Coliseum. This was perhaps the only thing which i really looked forward to on this trip, and the show itself made up for all the other disappointments. As an ardent fan and listening to her songs since I was in primary school, it's definitely quite an experience for me to see her live in concert in HK, especially after her 3-yr hiatus from her singing career. And i totally din expect her to sing Stephanie Cheng's 紅綠燈 (currently playing track). Will be looking forward to the concert CD/DVD.

Still, a little disappointed the concert was too short and there was no encore and I couldn't find any souvenirs! A very stunning performance overall.

(crowds pouring into HK Coliseum...the acoustic is so much better than our indoor stadium lor)

~

And here's the saddest part of the trip.

Although I wouldn't say i enjoyed myself very much on this trip, considering it's my only holiday getaway for the entire 2007 summer (after which it's internship all the way till school reopens), it's still very very nice to meet my old friend kachun again in HK, and traveling with new dudes and dudettes like joshua and the two serenes.

It's really not about the food or the shopping that thrills me. Maybe it's cos i've been there quite a few times before, and the expectations have already been established and can't go any higher. And this time round, I finally can make the locals understand a little bit of the Cantonese I blabber. And it's really easy to get around if you get your bearings right.

Shall look forward to going back again, and hopefully Michael would've been back in HK too. That'll be doubly fun!

As for now, it's back to the books. ~haiz....


~

下一站赤鱲角！

Time out...and think.

Really thankful i've such a good working committee to help me out with this. Still trying to rope in more people to join in the meantime.

~

I realize i've been making too much noise to my friends and displaying the emotionally-unstable side of me...well i guess most of them already know I'm like that. Emotional stability...something i've been working towards all my life...

~

Small achievements motivate me to a greater deal... Quite glad i finally landed myself a job attachment, and that means i don't have to crack my brain tinkin' abt what i can and should do for the next half of summer. But was quite lucky actually...quite thankful to the staff at SMU Office of Career Services for the lobang. But then I have to start work on the day of Squash Fever itself, so it means i'll be missing from a large part of the execution itself, and naturally i'm worried. So should i be exhilarated or exasperated? But bo bian also...just gonna take things as they come. I trust my squash pals will do a good job!

~

Mom's Day...and nothing. Haven't really decided what to get for her and it's already Saturday.

I gave her a pair of Crocs last yr...our relationship got quite bad the whole of last yr. Pls don't buy for ur loved one anything that can be split apart. They always say you shouldn't get slippers as gifts for your friends, lest you lose the friend when your fren loses one slipper....quite duh...but oh wellz...

~

Thanks Serene for handling all the nitty-gritty matters for the HK trip. Although i can't completely grasp all the problems you're gg thru' now, but I hope things will turn for the better. Just need to perhaps tink harder what else you can derive happiness out of...

~

Read this from Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. Really very apt in describing what we go thru' in life sometimes

"Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them. "

~

End of convoluted entry

~

Still feeling unsettled...

My overall mood for this week is just BADDDD.....and then looking back, i've only myself to blame for going thru' all these pretty much self-inflicted mental torture.

This hasn't been an enjoyable summer term. Even if there's no homework for my FIIM class, the pace is simply wrong, and the prof's spending way too much time on in-class presentations at the expense of teaching what's gonna be tested. I knew it's gonna be a self-study mod right from the start, but yet I'm still complaining why the Prof's not really teaching...She's only got 6 hours of lesson time left to cover more than a hundred slides of Derivative markets and instruments which are not intuitive at all to first-time learners. Looks like I won't be able to go HK in peace.

And yes..speakin' of which, that's another rather silly choice i'd made...alr spent like a total of 700 dollars pre-trip expenses and I'm pretty damn sure my mind will not be settled during the trip cos the FIIM final exam (50%!) is only 4 days after i come back fr HK. That's why i'm so kiasu now trying to prepare as much as i can before going on the trip....haiz....gonna see how it goes man.

And SMU Squash Fever 2007 has been poorly received so far...was expecting more poly people to sign up but the response so far damn discouraging. Me and my committee have alr tried our best in finding suitable dates n going thru all the necessary preparation....if the whole event is gonna lapse cos we dun haf enuff participants, it's just gonna prove either the squash scene is dead or we don't market ourselves well enuff....

Feeling damn stressed and disappointed everytime things don't go as planned or anticipated. Spare me 2 more paragraphs to vent plsss...

I was supposed to go for an interview with one of those big investment banks for an internship position and then I got rejected str away over the fone cos i made a declaration that i've a cousin who's working in there..and then of all people it has to be the HR Manager to give me the no-go cos of their corporate anti-nepotism shitty policy....n so i guess tt little overly-honest action of mine has caused me to be blacklisted in their recruitment list for a very long time...sigh...i'm so disappointed with this act of stupidity i've committed...not so much cos of not getting the job, but i just can't believe i could possibly do something so stupidly trivial that ended up with major consequences. I've alot to learn man...

And to wrap up, I'm so damn irritated by this extremely rude char bo fr my project group. I feel like just tellin' her to talk with some manners man. She's definitely one of the worst I've worked with so far. I don't even care if she's some top finance student or something...come SESS get slaughtered n ostracized only...Can't even comply to agreed deadline n wanna show attitude....wad a bitch...


~ blood-boiling at 3am...

流言

本文改編自王安憶著名小説《長恨歌》第一部第二章:

流言

流言總是帶著陰沈之氣

流言總是帶著陰沈之氣這陰沈氣有時是東西廂房的黃衣草氣味，

有時是樟腦丸氣味，還有時是肉碪板上的氣味。它不是那種漂浮

于Pick N Bite 外頭板煙和雪茄的氣味，也不是六六粉和敵敵畏的

氣味。它不是那種SMU Gym裏頭陽剛凜冽的氣味，而是帶有些陰

柔委婉的，是女人家的氣味。是電梯裏和Kopitiam廚房的混淆的

氣味，有點脂粉香，有點油煙味，還有點汗氣的。流言還都有些雲

遮霧罩，影影綽綽，是哈了氣的 窗玻璃，也是蒙了灰塵的窗玻璃,

就像SIS Lounge的玻璃。

流言有一種蔓延的洞染的作用(尤其是在SESS)

SESS 的 GSR有多少，流言就有多少，是數也數不清，說也說不完

的。這些流言有一種蔓延的洞染的作用，它 們會把一些正傳也變

成流言一般曖昧的東西，於是，什麼是正傳，什麼是流言，便有些

分不清。流言是真假難辨的，它們假中有真，真中有假，也是一

個分不清。它們難免有著荒誕不經的面目，這荒誕也是女人家短

見識的荒誕，帶著些少見多怪，還有些幻覺的。

這流言是不能小視的

它們在GSR這種地方，從一扇後門傳進另一扇後門，轉眼間便全

世界皆知了。它們就好像一種無聲的電波，在城市的上空交叉穿

行；它們還好像是無形的浮雲，籠罩著SMU，漸漸釀成一場是非的

雨。這雨也不是什麼傾盆的雨，而是那黃梅天裡的雨，雖然不暴

烈，卻是連空氣都濕透的。因此，這流言是不能小視的，它有著細

密綿軟的形態，很是糾纏的。SESS每一閒GSR裡，都有著這樣是

非的空氣。無論哪一閒GSR，這空氣都是滲透的，無處不在。它們

可說是SESS 的精神性質的東西。SESS的GSR如果能夠說話，說出

來的就一定是流言。它們是SESS的思想，晝裡夜裡都在傳播。

SESS GSR如果有夢的話，那夢，也就是流言。

流言總是鄙陋的

流言總是鄙陋的。它有著粗俗的內心，它難免是自甘下賤的。它是

陰溝裡的水，被人使用過，污染過的。它是理不直氣不壯，只能背

地裡竊竊喳喳的那種。它是沒有責任感，不承擔後果的，所以它便

有些隨心所欲，如水漫流。它均是經不起推敲，也沒人有心去推

敲的。它有些像言語的垃圾，不過，垃圾裡有時也可淘出真貨色

的。它們是那些正經話的作了廢的邊角料，老黃葉片，米裡邊的稗

子。它們往往有著不怎麼正經的面目，壞事多，好事少，不乾淨，

是個膀鵬貨。它們其實是用最下等的材料制造出來的，這種下等

材料，連SMU的三八都免不了堆積了一些的。但也唯獨這些下等

的見不得人的材料裡，會有一些真東西。這些真東西是體面後頭

的東西，它們是說給自己也不敢聽的，於是就拿來，制作流言了。

要說流言的好，便也就在這真裡面了。這真卻有著假的面目；是在

假裡做真的，虛裡做實，總有些改頭換面，聲東擊西似的。這真裡

是有點做人的膽子的，是不怕丟臉的膽子，放著人不做卻去做鬼

的膽子，唱反調的膽子。這膽子裡頭則有著一些哀意了。這哀意是

不遂心不稱願的哀，有些氣在裡面的，哀是哀，心卻是好高騖遠

的，唯因這好高騖遠，纔帶來了失落的哀意。因此，這哀意也是粗

鄙的哀意，不是唐詩宋詞式的，而是街頭切口的一種。這哀意便可

見出了重量，它是沈痛的，是哀意的積淀物，不是水面上的風花雪

月。

本來就有，後來也有

流言其實都是沈底的東西，不是手淘萬洗，百煉千錘的，而是本來

就有，後來也有，洗不淨，煉不精的，是做人的一點韌，打斷骨頭

連著筋，打碎牙齒咽下肚，死皮賴臉的那點韌。流言難免是虛張聲

勢，危言聳聽，鬼鬼祟祟一起來，它們聞風而動，隨風而去，摸不

到頭，抓不到尾。然而，SESS裡的真心，卻唯有到流言裡去找的。

無論男男女女外表有多華美，心卻是一顆粗鄙的心，那心是寄在

流言裡的，流言是寄在SESS GSR 裡的。SESS 的神奇傳說，剝開

殼看，其實就是流言的芯子。就好像珍珠的芯子，其實是粗糙的

沙粒，流言就是這顆沙粒一樣的東西。

流言是混淆視聽

流言是混淆視聽的，它好像要改寫歷史似的，並且是從小處著手。

它蠶食般地一點一點咬噬著書本上的記載，還像白蟻侵蝕華廈大

屋。它是沒有章法，亂了套的，也不按規矩來，到哪算哪的，有點

流氓地痞氣的。它不講什麼長篇大論，也不講什麼小道細節，它只

是橫看來。它是那種偷襲的方法，從背後擦上一把，轉過身卻沒了

影，結果是冤無 頭，債無主。它也沒有大的動作，小動作卻是細細

碎碎的沒個停，然後斂少成多，細流匯大江。所謂『謠言蜂起』，指

的就是這個，確是如蜂般嗡嗡營營的。它是有些卑鄙的，卻也是勤

懇的。它是連根火柴梗都要抬起來作引火柴的，見根線也拾起來

穿針用的。它雖是搗亂也是認真懇切，而不是玩世不恭，就算是謠

言也是悉心編造。雖是無根無憑，卻是有情有意。它們是自行其

事，你說你的，它說它的，什麼樣的有公論的事情，在它都是另一

番是非。它且又不是持不同政見，它是一無政見，對政治一竅不

通，它走的是旁門別道，同社會不是對立也不是同意，而是自行一

個社會。它是這社會的旁枝錯節般的東西，它引不起社會的警惕

心，因此，它的暗中作祟往往能夠得逞。它們其實是一股不可小視

的力量，有點『大風始於青萍之末』的意味。它們是背離傳統道德

的，印木以反封建的面目，而是一味的傷風敗俗，是典型的下三

爛...它們實在是沒個正經樣，否則便可上昇到公眾輿論這一檔裡

去明修棧道，如今卻只能暗渡陳倉，走的是風過耳。風過耳就風過

耳，它也不在乎，它本是四海為家的，沒有創業的觀念。它最是沒

有野心，沒有抱負，連頭腦也沒有的。它只有著作亂生事的本能，

很茫然地生長和繁殖。它繁殖的速度也是驚人的，魚撒子似的。繁

殖的方式也很多樣，有時環扣環，有時套連套，有時謎中謎，有時

案中案。它們彌漫在SESS的空中，像一群沒有家的不拘形骸的浪

人，其實，流言正是SESS的浪漫之一。

流言的浪漫在於想象力

流言的浪漫在於它無拘無束能上能下的想象力。這想象力是龍門

能跳狗洞能鑽的，一無清規戒律。沒有比流言更能胡編亂造，信口

雌黃的了。它還有無窮的活力，怎麼也扼它不死，是野火燒不盡，

春風吹又生的。它是那種最卑賤的草籽，風吹到石頭縫裡也照樣

生根開花。它又是見縫就鑽，連閨房那樣帷幕森嚴的地方都能出

入的。它在大小姐花繃上的繡花外流連，還在女學生的課餘讀物，

那些哀情小說的書頁流連，書頁上總是有些淚痕的。臺鍾滴滴答

答走時聲中，流言一點一點在滋生；洗胭脂的水盆裡，流言一點一

點在滋生。隱秘的地方往往是流言叢生的地方，隱私的空氣特別

利於流言的生長。SESS 的 GSR 裏是很藏得住隱私的，於是流言

便漫生漫長。夜裡邊滅了燈，有一扇門縫裡露出的一線光，那就是

流言...這流言裡有一個『私』字，這『私』字裡頭是有一點難言的苦

衷。這苦衷不是唐明皇對楊貴妃的那種，也不是楚霸王對虞姬的

那種，它不是那種大起大落，可歌可泣，悲天慟地的苦衷，而是狗

皮倒灶，牽絲攀藤，粒粒屑屑的。SESS 的GSR 是藏不住大苦衷

的。它的苦衷都是割碎了平均分配的，分到各人名下也就沒有多

少的。它即便是悲，即便是拗，也是悲在 肚子裡，楊在肚子裡，說

不上戲臺子去供人觀賞，也編不成詞曲供人唱的，那是怎麼來怎

麼去都只有自己知道，苦來苦去只苦自己，這也就是那個『私』字

的意思，其實也是真正的苦衷的意思。因此，這流言說到底是有一

些痛的，盡管痛的不是地方，倒也是鑽心鑽肺的。這痛都是各人痛

各人，沒有什麼共鳴，也引不起同情，是很孤單的痛。這也是流言

的感動之處。流言產生的時刻，其實都是悉心做人的時刻。SESS

的做人，是悉心悉意，全神貫注的做人，眼睛只盯著自己，沒有旁

騖的。不想創造歷史，只想創造自己的，沒有大志氣，卻用盡了實

力的那種。這實力也是平均分配的實力，各人名下都有一份。